Obsessive Ex Syndrome  



Obsessive Ex Syndrome
Personal accounts: Revenge Obsession

In revenge cases, the Obsessive Ex wants the leaving partner to be punished or tormented.  The Obsessor believes that the leaving partner deserves to be punished or harmed for perceived 'wrongs'.  They don't love the ex-partner any more; the obsession has only to do with trying to wreak continuing damage to the ex-partner's life.  They will even pursue avenues of revenge that harm their own children.

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She keeps taking him to court over candles, 99-cent store flower vases, any thing to make him keep spending money he doesn't have on lawyer fees, getting 3/4 of his income because she called in sick during a time frame she knew he had overtime so there would be a difference in income... turning his son against him by saying "your father beat me".

My ex was very charming in the beginning of our relationship, slowly over time though he became very controlling.  After I left him he blackmailed me for a year.  I finally called him on it, and the blackmail ended. My gas meter has now been vandalized and he is stalking me and wants our son and me dead. He has let my son who is 3 do things he knows he would've died from, i.e. drinking a bottle of medication.  He told me after the breakup that I made him look like a fool in front of his family and that he was gonna make me pay.  He also does not like the fact that he has to pay child support and doesn't like our son to have anything, even clothing should be kept to only 2 complete outfits.

I had my ex arrested for domestic violence in 1997 and filed for divorce. He will not leave me alone since and he remarried. He is emotionally abusive. He keeps taking me to court for one thing or another and he has lost all but 2 in the last 7 years and the ones he won for lowering child support by lying about his income. He tells me and the kids that he's not going to stop until he gets his revenge and sees me living on the street in a cardboard box. I believe that I am disabled now because of all the stress he's caused me. I have been diagnosed with MS in 1997 and I was just fine for 4 years until he kept going with his vendetta. He was arrested 4 times for harassment and convicted once. My oldest boy now lives with him because he wanted to and my ex wouldn't let me see him for 9 months. My daughter refuses to see him because he thinks he knows everything she does and cuts her down when he actually has no idea. My younger son, who is 11, is infatuated with him, however. My ex was found guilty of burglary of a bank last year and I just found out through the county website. He is getting death threats from people and I just found out that he vandalized some peoples' property. He has vandalized my parents' belongings and just found out also that he's the one that vandalized my home. I just can't seem to get him to leave me alone in spite of tons of police reports.

I am a 29 year old male currently divorced from a 35 year old woman. We have one boy (5 years old). For the last 2 years we have been transversing through the process of divorce & court proceedings - custody - visitation etc. Recently (in the last 2 months) she has become insane beyond all parameters of my imagination. I have been accused of robbing her home, stealing from her, neglecting and abandoning our child, living a reckless lifestyle, fraud, drug use. The list goes on & on & on. In the past week, I have received documentation from various court agencies. She has begun an IRS audit on me, my parents, my parents business. She has filed countless reports with business associates and business relationships of false activity. I am in the automobile business and have received letters stating that my business is now under investigation as to the auctions in which I purchase my vehicles from. She has impersonated my mothers personal information and gained access to my phone records. Then began calling all the numbers on my phone bill and telling people at random that I have VD & HIV and that she is still my lover. She has cracked into my e-mail host and downlaoaded my personal & business e-mails - then contacted those people at random threatening them and harrassing them. She has lied to the police, lied to her family, minipulated court documents, forged signatures, keyed my vehicles, damaged my property, followed me, jumped my fence and tried to come into my home, egged my friends vehicles & home's, threatened my life, threatened the lives of my family and friends. I could literally go on for hours. I was referred to your website through a concerned friend and as I began reading the OBSESSIVE EX SYNDROME, I literally almost fell out of my chair! I never imagined that someone else could have gone through such a situation. This has been going on since 2001 and unfortunately seems to get worse over time. I am scared, worried, constantly looking over my shoulder and just want to be away from all of this somehow. She has outright & blatantly denied me all visitation rights (even with a visitation decree order) and I am currently moving forward with court proceedings to enforce my rightful visitation. I never thought something like this would happen to me and am currently seeking support from others that may be able to help me through this or offer advice.

Stage 1: Courtship
- tests how much control can get over partner
Stage 2: Relationship - tries to maintain control
Stage 3: Break-Up - Obsessor will not accept relationship is over; argues or discusses with ex-partner repeatedly
Stage 4: Stalking - ex-partner is no longer willing to see Obsessor, but Obsessor keeps trying to contact
Stage 5: Threats - intimidation, threatening, blackmail, etc
Stage 6: Violence - abduction, assault, murder and/or suicide
My ex-boyfriend has been stalking me, calling my work and cell phone, leaving threatening messages. The other day he followed me and my brother in my car (I had to take him to work) when I parked he parked next to me and told me that he hated me and how he was gonna put me or my new boyfriend in the hospital. At that point, I ran into my brother's work and a confrontation between my brother and him began. It got worse. My brother called his friend who lived down the street to follow me home so i would be safe.  When his friend got there I got into my car and tried to get out of the parking lot, my ex-boyfriend slammed on the gas and tried to hit my car. My brother and his friend approached him to stall him so i could get out of the parking lot. When I got out my brother's friend created distance between my car and my ex's. My brother's friend told me to drive to the precinct that was a mile away. He also stated that my ex was trying to cross over the double yellow lines in the road so he could catch up to me. He eventually turned away. That's when I filed a peace order. I'm so scared he might try to kill me...

My husband's ex stalked both me and him. She also teamed up with my ex-husband's new wife and they both stalked us. We were taken to court when they filed restraining orders against us although they were the ones doing the stalking! They would call the police and accuse us of doing things we did not do e.g. they accused my husband of pulling a gun on them when he happened to see them at the pizza place when he drove thru to pick up our order and they were there eating! Harassing phone calls at all hours of the day and night... this went on for years. Creating bills in my husband's name that we ended up paying. One morning I was sick and went downstairs to take some medication and noticed them driving by at 2:00 a.m. I could go on and on... My husband's ex-wife still uses his last name although she has been remarried for 14 years. Their daughter goes by her stepfather's name. That is another topic... all the trips to court over her not letting my husband see his daughter. His ex completely destroyed his relationship with his daughter... she is now 21 and has nothing to do with him. We tried taking her to court to no avail. The judge would not enforce the visitation. We almost went broke from the legal fees. I don't mind listing names and do not desire to remain anonymous. I think the legal system has to recognize this illness or obsession or whatever you care to call it and address it as far as peoples lives are concerned namely the children. My husband's ex-wife is --------, her husband's name is ---------. What kind of man would allow his wife to do this? I could understand if she used his name because of a business she may be recognized in but she's just a human resource rep.  The obsessive behavior hasn't ended, but it has subsided considerably.



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